your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
