It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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