I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
