I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
