I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
