thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
