Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
