I'm going to rape someone's good day.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The Olympian is in my bed
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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