Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
