What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Are my feet made of real feet?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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