make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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