We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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