It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
where am i from again
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
