just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Ladies don't puke and tell
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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