im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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