Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize