Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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