we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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