areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
