I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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