every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
