Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
