Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
