There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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