I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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