Screwed.edu
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
