You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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