im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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