She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
