Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
