She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
