so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
