Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
