ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
