Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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