You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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