the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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