This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
