How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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