ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
