I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
