i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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