Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
