I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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