I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
