Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
