I am spending my child support on dildos
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
