what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
