I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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