So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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