Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And then he peed in my hair
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