When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Randomize
