ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
two words...techno handjob
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
