We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
