I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
