Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
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Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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