I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
