someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize