She's JV to your varsity
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
