I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Everything about him screamed your future.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
