You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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