Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
