Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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