stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
