Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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