And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
