oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize