You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
