yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
