i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He kissed a someone with a penis
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
