I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
